


Angel's day out

by TruthfulNomad



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, F/M, FWUCollections, Falling In Love, First Dates, First Kiss, Friendship/Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-04-18 03:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14204379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TruthfulNomad/pseuds/TruthfulNomad
Summary: Castiel wants to teach Hannah what Sam and Dean have taught him. He wants her to learn how to take pleasure in the simple things and to learn what he sees in humanity and what keeps him attracted to this planet. So armed with some advice from the Winchesters, the two angels set out for San Francisco on a date.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: AU of course. Takes place after the episode Soul Survivor in Season 10. This may end up being a continuation from my fic ‘Emotions are dangerous things’ which is also in progress so we’ll see how the two end of connecting. Anyone want to give me some pointers as to where Cas and Hannah should go on their date? Anything that two angels need to experience? Let me know in your review! And please review and let me know if you like my writing! I own nothing of course.

Angels day out

 

In the days after Sam succeeded in bringing Dean back from being a demon, Castiel and Hannah took a break from hunting rogues to look after the exhausted Winchesters. With replenished grace, Castiel was feeling stronger than he had in a long time. He regretted that it had cost Adina her life, but as he pulled his car up to the bunker, he spotted a lone figure standing in the field across and was reminded of why Adina had to die.

Hannah turned to face him as Castiel got out of the car carrying a bag of food he’d gone into town for. “Have you been out here long?” he asked as he joined her in the field. She looked at him, a gentle breeze blowing through her dark brown hair.

“I was thinking about grass,” she told him. She turned back towards the field and he followed her gaze to the prairie. A wire fence a few yards out cut across the prairie signifying the start of some farmer’s property. “How it continues to grow despite the humans attempt to coral it with fences and walls. Even in the worst disasters, grass is resilient.”

“It is,” Castiel agreed. He watched how she gazed at the sea of grass that stretched far beyond the horizon like a rippling yellow ocean. “And much of the planet is covered in it. It is most frequent in places like this, the Midwest.”

She seemed fascinated with the concept of grass and it only made him smile. She looked at him, cocking her head in confusion. “Have I done something amusing?”

“No,” he responded. “Your fascination with the natural world, I share it. I am partial towards bees.”

“Bees?” She raised a brow, eager to hear more.

“Yes,” he said. “You see the natural world is most like heaven. Every creature and every plant has its purpose here. There is order, there is law and even though humans have managed to disrupt that order, it remains constant. Bees and grass, they both fit in to this order.”

“I wish we had time to explore this concept,” Hannah said. “I want to see more grass.”

Castiel thought about that. He regretted that his wings were broken, and she’d hurt hers in the fall. They could have flown to every corner of the world to help her see. 

“I remember your reluctance to experience chaos,” he pointed out. “I was like that too before I spent a lot of time down here. I know how hard it is to appreciate a place like Earth and these people, humans, when all you’ve ever known is the perfect order of heaven.”

“Chaos breeds angels like Metatron,” Hannah reminded him. “Without order, without obedience, what do we have, Castiel? This planet… it’s so strange down here. The humans, I don’t understand them. I wish I could just stay in the grass and not interact with them.”

Castiel sighed. She was still thinking like an angel. Her connection to heaven was still strong. Being down here overwhelmed her. He understood because even as long as he’d been down here, it still overwhelmed him. There was still so much he didn’t understand. He decided then that he needed to show her the truth about the world. He needed to understand why he desperately tried to walk the line between his fellow angels and humanity. Why he cared so much about these strange, flawed beings when he could just be a good obedient angel, like Hannah, and vow never to disobey again.

“I’ll show you,” he told her after a pause. She’d turned her attention back to the grass again and she whirled to look at him. “I want to show you what I see in humanity. And in this planet. There is plenty of bad, but there is plenty of good too. There is enough good to cause men like Sam and Dean to continually give their lives to preserve it. It’s their home, they feel close to it. And there is pleasure to be had down here.”

“Pleasure?” Hannah questioned. “What kind of pleasure? Is there not also pain?”

“There is pain,” Castiel confirmed. “And grief and sorrow and jealousy and greed. But there is also pleasure and love. There’s burgers and pie and rock music down here.”

“And those things are pleasurable?” She looked at him with skepticism. “Burgers and music?”

Castiel nodded. “Yes,” he said. “Humans create things like burgers and music as a way to express themselves. To make sense of what they see and hear and feel around them. To convey emotion.”

“Angels have no use for emotions, you said so yourself,” Hannah said. “You called them dangerous temptations.”

Castiel sighed again. He wished he hadn’t said that to her. He’d been trying to spare her feelings. Feelings that neither one of them really understood. “I was wrong,” he said at last. “Feelings, they are human things. But it’s not hard to get caught up in them. I’ve learned to understand some, but not everything.”

“What feelings have you experienced?” she stepped closer to him, gazing up at him. Her proximity certainly made him feel. What exactly he was feeling, he wasn’t sure of, but it was something he felt compelled to feel more of. 

“I…” he felt a loss for words. “I’ve felt certain emotions. Loyalty and friendship. And I’ve felt despair, helplessness, grief, pain, and many others.”

“I want to feel those too,” she insisted. “How do I?”

“Go back your belongings,” he instructed. “I have to deliver this bag of grease and cholesterol to Sam and Dean and maybe they will have suggestions on where we could go. I have somethings I would want you to experience.”

“Like burgers and music?” she asked. He nodded. 

“Yes we will have those,” he replied as they turned to walk back towards the entrance of the bunker. “And we will most likely have pie as well. And we will probably be required to imbibe a generous amount of beer.”

With that they both entered the bunker and descended the stairs into the main room where they found Sam and Dean sitting at the table, Sam buried in his lap top while Dean nursed a steaming cup of coffee.

“I will get my things,” Hannah announced as she headed down the hall, acknowledging the brothers as she passed them. Now they both eyed Castiel curiously as he presented them with the bag of food he’d brought them.

“Ahh sausage Mcmuffins, just what I needed Cas,” Dean dove quickly into the bag, quickly swatting Sam’s hand away as his younger brother attempted to claim some breakfast.”

“I need your advice,” Castiel explained as he sat down in between them and waited for Dean to take what he wanted before finally surrendering the rest of the bag’s contents to Sam. “I want to show Hannah pleasure.”

Sam promptly coughed, and shot Dean a startled, confused, almost frightened look while Dean craned his head up at Castiel and smirked, barely holding back a chuckle. “what exactly are you asking us Cas?” he prompted. “Cuz there are so many routes I could go with that one.”

“I don’t understand,” Castiel frowned at their reactions. “I want to show her things about this world that humans find pleasurable. Like burgers.”

Sam let out a breath of sheer relief, “thank god he’s not asking what I thought he was asking,” he mumbled thankfully as he bit into his sandwich.

“Oh so you want to take her on a date?” Dean questioned. 

“Hannah is feeling overwhelmed, Dean,” Castiel explained, his tone of voice imploring Dean to take him seriously. “Overwhelmed with being on Earth, she doesn’t understand the chaos down here. She doesn’t like fences. I want to show her some things about Earth she will like. Since you two are far mor acquainted with this planet than I am I was hoping you could give me suggestions.”

“Okay whatever, Romeo,” Dean said. “But if you plan on taking her anywhere, you might want to change your look.”

“My look?” Castiel glanced down at his trenchcoat and blue tie. “But this is my attire. And she has her own attire.”

“Sam go help Hannah,” Dean demanded. Sam looked at him indignantly. 

“What? Why me?”

“Because I need to teach Cas a few tricks,” Dean explained. “I think Charlie left some things here and go help her do her hair or something.”

“Dean! Dude, come on, I’m not some teenage girl’s makeup queen.” Dean only smirked at that and shrugged. 

“Could have fooled me, Princess,” he teased. “Hurry up, don’t be primping in front of the mirror for hours with each other either.”

Sam groaned and got up, hurrying down the hall to do as Dean requested. Castiel sat down and faced Dean. “I don’t understand,” he said. “I only want to show her somethings.”

“Well first you have to take her some places you think she’ll like,” Dean explained. He got up and grabbed Cas by the arm, hauling him down towards his bed room and started rummaging through his belongings. Castiel watched in confusion.

“She likes grass,” Castiel explained. “She wants to see more grass.”

“Well we’re in the middle of Kansas, we have plenty of that,” he said. “But you know what, if you want to give her a grand tour, you should probably take her somewhere on the coast. It’s a bit of a drive but you’re an angel, just make sure you stop every once in a while to get gas in that junker of yours.”

Dean shoved a pair of nice slacks and a blazer at Castiel. He also shoved a suit at him. “That one’s for during the day while your traveling, and the other one’s for going out to eat.”

Castiel had never been so confused in his life. What had he gotten himself into? He hadn’t realized there was a whole ritual associated with this.

“I only want to show her the world,” Castiel explained, “Or at least a small portion of it as I can’t go very far without my wings.”

“Hey that’s not bad,” Dean said with a smirk. He sighed when he realized Castiel didn’t understand.

“You said you want to show her the world. Most women would find that pretty romantic. But given that Hannah is an angel too she’d probably be just as clueless.” He pulled Castiel over and sat him down on the edge of his bed, pulling up a chair to sit next to him.

“Okay look. You’re a man, she’s a woman, call it what you will, but you two are going on a date. It is what it is.”

“Okay very well,” Castiel relented with a sigh. He hadn’t thought of it as a date but if Dean said it was, then it must be and whatever it was, he wanted Hannah to enjoy it. And he said as much to Dean. “I want her to see what I see in Earth and Humans and chaos and free will,” he explained. “I want her to understand why I choose to stay here, I want her to experience what I’ve experienced since being associated with you and your brother. You two have shown me what it’s truly like down here. You’ve shown me things like friendship, family, and how to care for others. I only want to teach Hannah what you’ve taught me.”

Dean looked him in the eyes and smirked, “yeah I guess it had to happen to you too,” he murmured. “Yeah you think it’s going to be some kind of teaching thing but I guarantee you it will turn into more, that is if you do exactly as I say. Dress nice, open the door for her, give her your coat when she gets cold, and when it feels right, kiss her.”

“Kiss her?” Castiel thought about that. He had to admit that in the days he’d spent traveling and working with her, getting closer to her, he had thought about what it would be like. He’d kept his personal feelings at bay, had stayed focused on the mission, and had implored her to do the same, but now? They didn’t have a mission at the moment. The rogue angels were still out there and his grace was still diminishing. And Dean still had the mark. But for now, for right now, there was nothing to focus on, except for her. “How will I know when it’s right?”

Dean frowned as he thought on that. “You’ll just know,” he said. “Look Cas, I’ve only seen the woman once or twice, but I can see the way you two look at each other. So just… go with the flow. Show her some sights and sounds. Sam and I will fix you up with an itinerary, you two should just hit the road for a few days.”

“How will hitting asphalt help matters?” 

“I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that,” Dean groaned. “Come on, put that on and get ready.” With that, he headed out and left the angel alone with his thoughts.


	2. Chapter Two

Sam and Dean had made sure they were adequately prepared, and after that, they argued about where the angels should go on their… date. Dean had wanted them to go to Kansas City. Sam had insisted on San Francisco. Eventually, an agreement was made that they would venture to both cities and that the Kansas City itinerary would be provided by Dean and the San Francisco itinerary provided by Sam.

 

Castiel glanced at Hannah in the passenger seat of his car as he drove. In between them was a bag chalk full of what Dean had to referred to as ‘travel food.’ Canned soda, candy bars, chips, and beef jerky.

 

“This beverage has a strange sensation,” Hannah spoke up as she sipped her grape soda. “Why did Dean say this was necessary?”

 

“It’s part of a human ritual called road tripping,” Castiel told her. A pile of chocolate wrappers beside her caught his attention. “Did you enjoy your snickers and milky way candy bars?”

 

Hannah nodded, glancing in his direction. He smiled as the setting sun reflected against her hair, casting it with a brilliant orange hue. “I enjoy the chocolate. Tell me, Castiel, what are we going to be doing on this trip?”

 

“Well, I had to ask Sam and Dean for advice,” he admitted. “We are going to Kansas City to have a meal, and to spent the night. This city was recommended by Dean; he claims the best BBQ is to be had there. Then, we are taking the two thousand mile drive to San Francisco. Sam spent two years going to school nearby, and he recommended some things for us to experience. The trip will take a number of days, but while Dean is recovering from being a demon and we have no way of tracking the rogues, we have the time for what Dean calls downtime.”

 

“Humans seem to value downtime,” Hannah commented as she glanced out the window at the prairie. “Wouldn’t their time be best spent in higher pursuits?”

 

“Humans are limited in that they require food and rest. We do not need these things so it may be hard to understand. One thing that humans possess that perhaps we lack is creativity and imagination.” Castiel focused on the road again as he thought ahead to the next few days. He thought about what Dean had said to him, about how he and Hannah would become closer as a result of this journey. He had to admit that he was enjoying merely being in her presence. But more than that, he enjoyed showing her the things he loved and seeing her express interests of her own. So far, he’d realized that she liked grass, chocolate, and grape soda. He was excited to see what else she would discover about herself in this.

 

“Creativity,” she repeated. “You mean like art and music?”

 

“Yes,” in response, he reached over and turned on the car stereo and switched it to classical music. She listened, cocking her head to the side as she absorbed the pleasant sounds.

 

“I enjoy this sort of music,” Castiel explained. He snuck another glance at her and smiled when her eyes met his. “Hannah, there are some things I hope we can experience together on this trip,” he said. “I have been told on many occasions that I lack… culture. Creativity. This is a way to explore these things for both of us.”

 

“You see so much in these humans,” she pointed out. “In this world. It’s so strange down here. After the fall, I felt so lost, so alone. I only wanted to return to heaven. But in working with you, I have learned that this place holds special meaning to you, doesn’t it?”

 

“Yes,” he said. “It’s where I learned about friendship. I want you to learn too. Because even after I’m…” he trailed off as he realized what he was about to say.  _ After I’m gone _ , that’s what he was going to say. He couldn’t forget about his borrowed grace, and how it was likely he wouldn’t live much longer, he felt sad.

 

“After you’re what?” She picked up on his inner trepidation, looking at him with concern.

 

“I may not live long,” he admitted. He immediately wished he hadn’t said that as a look of concern and dread came over her face. She’d watch him suffer, struggling with the illness of fading grace. He hated reminding her of his predicament. “If the last thing I do in this life is to show another angel why this world and these people are so important to me, then I will have served my purpose. I found happiness in these humans, Hannah. In my friendship with Sam and Dean. It has cost me pain and suffering as I am constantly being forced to walk the tight line between helping them and obeying heaven. It’s cost me the respect of other angels. I know how I’m perceived in Heaven. I know that many angels hate me, they blame me for the fall, they blame me for a lot of things. And they are right. I’ve done some terrible things, and I regret so much of it. But the one thing I don’t regret is knowing Sam and Dean. And my time here on Earth. It’s all I have to hold onto sometimes. I just want another angel to see this world for what it is and to understand why I’ve done what I’ve done.”

 

Hannah remained quiet for a long pause. She stared at him as if trying to digest what he had said. She seemed unsure of what she should do, what she should say. She sensed this was a serious moment. She frowned sadly, reaching for him before stopping herself, pulling her hand back hesitantly. “Not all angels hate you, Castiel,” she said after a long time.

 

Castiel cleared his throat, sensing an awkward silence. “I’m glad,” he said. He attempted to lighten the mood. “Dean says we should try a place famous for their barbeque. But you have to tell me what you would like to see, Hannah. This isn’t just about me showing you everything I’ve seen; it’s about you learning about yourself. We angels often lack the capacity for creativity and for uniqueness. We lack passion and drive; these things are what fuel human society. Humans could not have achieved what they have in these few thousand years if it weren’t for emotion, passion, ambition. Sure, they are limited by their basic needs. They need to eat, the need to sleep, they must mate to ensure the continuation of their species. And what's more, they have senses. Sight, sound, smell, touch, taste. These are the basic needs of all life, but what sets humans apart is their ability to go beyond their basic needs.”

 

“Eating, sleeping, sensing, mating,” Hannah nodded curtly. “I understand, Castiel, will you show me all of these things?”

 

Castiel cleared his throat awkwardly, turning a little red. He shouldn’t have mentioned the mating part. He’d discussed already that how humans turned their basic needs into mediums for creativity and expression was the cornerstone of who they were, but there were some things he wasn’t quite sure how to teach her, as he didn’t quite understand them himself. “Let’s uh… just see how much we can cover,” he told her, giving her a small, bashful smirk.

  
  



	3. Chapter Three

 

 

When they arrived at the restaurant, Hannah gazed around at the quiet neighborhood lined with simple brick buildings. Finely dressed men and women wandered the streets around them. Hannah glanced at Castiel as he parked the car and met her gaze.

 

“Are you sure we should be clothed so… strangely?” she asked. They’d taken the time to change into clothing that had been approved by the Winchesters. In fact, according to Castiel, their entire excursion had been planned by the brothers.

 

“Yes,” Castiel said as he got out of the car and moved around to open the passenger door for her. “I don’t quite understand it either, but Dean informed me that we would not be allowed entry to this restaurant if we were dressed like douchebags, as he called it. He said we had to look sharp.”

 

Hannah felt confused. “Sharp?” she repeated. “Like a blade?” She looked down at herself. She wore a slimming black dress with a short hemline, square neckline, and thin spaghetti straps crisscrossing her bare back. Her hair was pulled back from her shoulders, spilling in wavy tresses against her back. She wore a light blue pendant that Sam had said brought out her eyes.

 

Castiel offered her his hand and, hesitantly, she took it, and he hoisted her to her feet. “Do I look sharp then? Sam Winchester claimed this was appropriate.” Castiel looked at what she wore, his eyes studying her slim form closely.

 

“Yes,” he responded. She felt her cheeks turn a little warm as she took in his appearance. He wore a dark navy blue tuxedo with coat and white dress shirt. His appearance certainly made her vessel flush slightly; she didn’t quite understand this sort of reaction. “You look smashing.”

 

Hannah hoped that smashing was a good thing. But when she tried to walk in the uncomfortable high heels Sam told her to wear, she stumbled forward, losing her balance. Castiel was there, quickly catching her by the arms before she collided into him, and held her steady. “Are you alright?” he questioned.

 

“These shoes,” she glanced down at her feet, at the black high heels she wore, and how her feet screamed with discomfort at being in them. “I don’t see how they are appropriate.”

 

Castiel glanced around at the people moving back and forth around them. He pointed out a woman in a flashy red skirt and six-inch pumps. Hannah felt a little better about her appearance. She felt as though this black gown hardly contained her form, but at least it wasn’t that revealing.

 

“Come on,” Castiel grasped her hand and let her lean slightly against him as they walked to the restaurant. Hannah still struggled with the shoes and felt a little embarrassed as she enlisted the look of a few humans standing in the waiting lounge as she and Castiel approached the hostess podium.

 

“Welcome to the finest Kansas City Steakhouse in town,” the hostess greeted as she looked the two of them over. “Well aren’t you two a pair of perfect cherubs.” Castiel and Hannah exchanged glances with one another.

 

“Yes, we are angels,” Castiel pointed out as a matter of factly. “But I don’t understand how you could have known that simply based on our appearance. You cannot see our true form.”

 

“Oh… just a figure of speech, Handsome,” the hostess said, winking coyly at Castiel. “Do you have a reservation?”

 

Castiel nodded. “Yes, I have a reservation under Dean Winchester.” The hostess checked her computer and pulled out a few menus.

 

“Ah there you are, Mr. Winchester, I’m glad you called ahead, we have your table and your entire menu selection all ready for you.”

 

Castiel raised a brow and looked at Hannah who shrugged. He leaned over to her to whisper. “Now I know what Dean was doing in the other room before we left,” he said. Hannah felt a little nervous. She didn’t entirely trust Dean and knowing he’d apparently set this whole event up made her even more anxious about what could be in store for them.

 

The two of them followed the hostess through the dimly lit dining room, and Hannah glanced around the restaurant curiously. People stuffed into booths lined the room, talking, taking little note of them. Paintings of prominent Kansas City residents and of scenery decorated the walls. Jazz music played. As they passed by the bar lounge area, Hannah was fascinated with the bottles and glasses lining the wall behind the bar.

 

When they approached their booth, it was decorated with a white satin tablecloth, set up with proper plates and utensils, and upon closer inspection, Hannah noted a long-stemmed red rose laying in front of the antique lamp at the far end of the table, just under the large oil painting of the Missouri River hanging on the wall.

 

Hannah plucked the rose from the table as she slid into the booth, Castiel sitting down across the table from her. She looked it over curiously, inhaling its pleasant floral scent. When she glanced to Castiel for an explanation, he only shrugged. “Dean,” he said simply.

The hostess left them and was immediately replaced by a pretty brunette waitress whose name tag read: Dina.

 

“How are we doing this lovely evening?” Dina asked as she placed water glasses in front of each of them. She glanced at Castiel. “You’re Dean Winchester, correct?”

 

“No,” Castiel corrected, he tried to think of an explanation. “He’s uh… my brother. He arranged this meal for us.”

 

“Oh well aren’t you two in for a surprise then,” the waitress pulled over a tray and placed champagne ice bucket onto their table. “He’s arranged the full tour of our fine establishment. First, we have some champagne on ice, followed by a couple of dishes to share. Our delicious crab cakes, some parmesan truffle fries, and lobster mac and cheese. Then, we have a dry aged Kansas City rubbed porterhouse on a bed of wild rice with sauteed spinach and a baked potato. And for the lovely lady here, we have a roasted citrus salmon over polenta and creamed spinach and sauteed wild mushrooms. And then for dessert, we have some strawberry sorbet for the both of you.”

 

The waitress glanced between the two of them and smirked. “You two are as thin as rails, you sure you can finish all that food?”

 

“Yes,” Hannah said confidently, glancing up at the waitress. “We are ang-”

 

“We’re very hungry,” Castiel blurted out before she could finish her sentence. The waitress smiled.

 

Hannah gasped as the waitress popped the cork, the noise startling her, as did the eruption of fizzing champagne that burst from the bottle. The waitress expertly poured them their glasses and then hurried away.

 

Hannah focused her attention on Castiel, who gave her a small smile. “What have you observed of humans so far?” he asked her.

 

Hannah glanced down at the rose she held in her hand, running her finger over the stem and the petals, feeling the softness sensations of touch as she thought. “They place a lot of value on these… sensations,” she responded. “Senses. The way we are dressed, how we appear. The sound of the piano… the touch of a rose. These smells around me…”

 

“Humans use their senses to process the world around them,” Castiel explained. “How do these senses make  _ you _ feel, Hannah?”

 

Hannah thought about that question. As she did, the waitress brought the first of their food. Crab cakes and fries. She took a fry and ate it cautiously and watched Castiel do the same. As she chewed, she contemplated the tastes. “I like this,” she said. She thought back to how she’d felt as she’d taken in Castiel’s appearance in his suit and the way she’d felt a little flushed when she noticed his eyes on her. She’d felt encouraged by his attention. She liked the way the rose felt, the way her mouth watered at the smell of food, and the crunch and salty taste of the fries and crab cakes.

 

“I like the way these senses make my vessel feel,” she told Castiel. As curious as she was about the world around her, she also liked that Castiel was here with her. She realized that his presence was probably the most essential part of the way she felt. She wasn’t quite sure how to tell him this. Somehow, it didn’t quite feel right to voice these thoughts. She didn’t understand how to put words to what she felt. She only knew that she didn’t want the evening to end.

 

And it was long-lasting. With each new dish their waitress brought them, she was given a chance to experience something new. New tastes, new smells. And even though this was all new to her, somewhere, deep inside her, Caroline felt them too and assured her that they were right things to feel. After all, they were Caroline’s emotions, her senses, which guided her.

 

All through dinner, she kept the rose on her lap, it seemed wrong to part with it somehow. She watched Castiel intensely as he ate his meal. She followed his lead on how to eat certain things, though Caroline nudged her in the right direction too.

 

The dinner did have to end eventually, and after Castiel paid for the meal on one of Dean’s fraudulent credit cards, the two of them made their way back to the car and as Hannah sat in the passenger seat, watching as Castiel pumped gas, preparing for their journey west, she suddenly felt closer to him than she thought was possible before. She clutched her rose as he perched on the hood of the car outside, waiting for the gas pump to finish, she felt an overwhelming sensation of anticipation for the next few days. She was excited to explore the world with him, to see what he wanted to show her, to let him guide her through this strange planet.

 

When he got back into the car, he glanced across the space between them to meet her gaze. “How was that?” he asked, concern for her answer in his eyes as he observed her expression. “The whole evening. Even the uncomfortable shoes.”

 

“I liked it,” she admitted softly. “Castiel… I hadn’t realized.”

 

“Realized what?”

 

“I didn’t see how there could be any wisdom to be gained by humans. So much of the way they act confuses me. They don’t understand what it’s like to be angels, but… I’m starting to realize what you see in them.”

 

Castiel smiled wholeheartedly, relief in his eyes. “I’m glad,” he said. “And there is much more to come.”

 

And with that, the two angels headed west.

 


	4. Chapter 4

They drove all night and all day the next day to get to San Francisco. It was morning by the time they crossed the bay bridge and navigated carefully through the steep hills and one-way streets that characterized the city by the bay.

They arrived at their hotel, a massive 32 story building on Powell Street, overlooking Union Square. They marveled at the opulent, lavishly decorated lobby.

“Why do we need a hotel?” Hannah asked as she and Castiel stepped off the elevator onto the 25th floor. “We don’t require sleep.”

“Sam and Dean said it was important in case we needed to freshen up,” Castiel explained as they found their room and went inside. They found a large room with simple furnishings and decor, including a television set, a small sofa, a few tables and a large bed with a sleek white comforter.

Castiel watched as Hannah gazed around the room, then found her way to the window. Pushing the curtains aside, she looked at the view. Castiel moved to stand beside her. “This city is vast!” she exclaimed as she gazed in wonder at the streets below and jungle of buildings all around them. The sounds of the city could be heard below, cars honking, and people moving about.

“Humans originally began living in communities for protection,” Castiel explained. “From predators and from each other in many cases. In time, as they became more advanced, their cities grew into this.”

“They’ve replaced the natural world with their dwellings,” Hannah said, turning to look at him. “Could they not have found a better way of living together?”

“Perhaps,” Castiel agreed. “But humans are driven by certain instincts that push them to move beyond the confines of what nature would allow.”

Hannah said nothing, just turned her attention back to the window. She seemed fascinated by watching the city below. Castiel watched her. He’d enjoyed every moment of their trip so far. He loved watching her discover the subtle nuances of human life. She took everything in with fascination and wonder. But as he felt himself getting closer to her, he couldn’t help but feel this sadness deep within him. A feeling that made him hesitate with her. How close could they get? And what good would it do? He was dying. It was the one thing that hung over his head this entire trip as he shared this experience with Hannah.  

“Castiel?” Castiel blushed slightly when he realized he had been staring at her and now she was looking at him with a frown, a hint of concern in her blue eyes. “Are you well?”

“I am,” he replied. He hadn’t begun to feel the effects of the fading borrowed grace yet. But they both knew he’d be back there again. The replenishment he’d gotten from Adina was temporary, and he knew he’d soon be getting sick again.

“Your grace,” Hannah started, searching him with her eyes. “Is it affecting you?”

“Not yet,” Castiel replied, trying to brush aside the sorrow he felt as he looked at her. He didn’t want to dampen the mood of their time together with this. “Come, I believe we are due for a stroll along the bay.”

“First, I’d like to take a shower,” she suggested. He looked at her quizzically.

“We don’t need to shower,” he pointed out. She shrugged.

“I know,” she replied. “But I want to. Humans do it.”

“Very well,” he said as he moved over to the side table and took a seat. “I’ll wait here for you; I’d like to call Sam and Dean and check in with them in any case.”

He watched her disappear into the bathroom then pulled out his phone and dialed, waiting. A moment later, Dean’s voice came through the speakerphone.

“Hey Cas,” he said, “how are things going so far?”

“Well,” Castiel replied as he heard the sound of the shower running. “Hannah enjoyed the dinner at the steakhouse, but she found the garment you two selected for her confining.”

“Yeah but I bet she looked good in it,” Dean replied, Castiel could sense the suggestive smirk in his voice. “What do you say, think Sam should be a fashion designer now?”

“Dean,” came Sam’s voice. “Hey Cas where are you two now?”

“We are in our hotel,” Castiel explained. “Hannah is taking a shower.”

“Ah so you haven’t gotten to third base yet then,” Dean chided. Castiel felt confused. What did bases have to do with this situation? “Otherwise she would have asked you to join her.”

“Dean come on man,” Sam scolded, and Castiel rolled his eyes even though he knew Dean couldn’t see him. “Hey Cas, you should take her to the Academy of arts in golden gate park, I think she’d like that.”

“A museum, really?” Came Dean’s voice. “Can you be any more of a nerd.”

Castiel sat there, listening to the brothers argue for a moment. Eventually, Dean relented. While he may have been the expert when it came to Kansas City, Sam knew more about San Francisco and what it had to offer.

“They have an indoor rainforest and a living roof,” Sam explained. “And sometimes, they have an after-hours event where you can watch meteor showers and look into telescopes. It’s a good way to show her the natural world.”

Castiel thought of that. He and Hannah did share an interest in the natural world; he remembered how fascinated with grass she had been. “Do they have grass?” he asked. “She likes grass.”

There was a pause, and he heard Dean mutter something unintelligible. “Yeah it’s a pretty big park,” Sam explained. “You can take her to the tea garden or the botanical garden; I think they have a place where you can see some bison too.”

“You can see that here, Sammy,” Dean pointed out. “Hey Cas, tell me more about dinner, do I have skills or what.”

Castiel knew that Dean had put the dinner together. “She liked the rose,” he confirmed.

“And the food,” Dean surmised. “I’d like to see you beat that one, Sammy.”

“Alright you’re on,” Sam replied. Castiel frowned. He wondered what Sam was going to get them into. “Don’t worry, Cas I have your entire day planned out, just make sure you’re at dinner on time.”

“Okay, Sam,” Castiel agreed. He sighed. He thought about his earlier thoughts as he glanced towards the bathroom door where he knew Hannah was.

“Hey Cas, you okay?” Dean asked with concern as if he could sense Castiel’s thoughts. “You know we have your back, right?”

“Yes,” Castiel replied. He paused a moment before gathering his thoughts. “I enjoy spending time with Hannah,” he began. “She sees the world with the sense of wonder I had when I met you. I want to show her everything I’ve seen, what keeps me here but… I feel I cannot become… attached.”

“What’s holding you back?” Dean asked. “Angels need love too.”

“I am dying,” Castiel reminded him.

“Hey don’t think like that, Cas,” Sam implored. “You know we’ll do everything we can. Your grace is out there someone, don’t give up so fast.”

“And even if it’s true,” Dean pointed out. “That’s more of a reason to you know… live it up.”

Castiel wasn’t so sure he shared Sam and Dean’s confidence, but he didn’t say as much. He couldn’t deny that the last few days hadn’t stirred something within him, something that both frightened him and encouraged him. Starting from when he’d first seen her in that dress, to the evening he’d shared with her; it was impossible to deny that there were… desires. Feelings. The very things he’d warned her about back at the gas station. Emotions, they were dangerous temptations, and here he was, trying to sort them out.

“Cas, you still there?” Dean’s voice brought him back to reality.

“Yes,” he replied. “What do I do?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” came Dean’s response. “First of all, forget the whole teacher/student thing. You are on a date, not a field trip. And by the way, you aren’t exactly the expert on humanity either, Maestro. Second, make sure you pay attention to her. And you know… if things happen, things happen.”

“Things?” Castiel raised a brow, confused. “What sort of things?”

“Listen, Cas there are some things we can’t really teach you,” Sam replied. “You just have to sort them out yourself.”

At that moment, Hannah emerged out of the bathroom, dressed in her usual grey blazer and jeans. “I have to go,” Castiel told Sam and Dean and hung up. He got up and came over to her. “Are you ready?” he asked. She nodded.

“You should try it when we come back,” Hannah pointed out, gesturing to the shower. “The sensation of water on your skin.”

 

“Perhaps I will,” Castiel replied before holding his hand out to her. She looked at it quizzically. “It’s… something I learned,” he explained. Hannah took his hand, gripping it securely as the two walked out of the hotel room bound for their next experience.


	5. Chapter 5

After a day walking along the bay, inhaling the smells of sea water, sailing boats, and seafood, Castiel felt invigorated. This city was a kaleidoscope of sensations. Hannah had been particularly fascinated with the sea lions at pier 39. She's enjoyed crab meat on bannock bread for lunch and she and Castiel had managed to find a secluded bench facing the boats in the harbor. An occasional tourist had passed by and seagulls had cawed as they tried to snag what food they could get.  
  
As evening began to descend, they returned to their hotel to change and prepare for the meal at the restaurant Sam had picked for them. Castiel finished adjusting the navy blue tie that matched his suit when he heard the sound of the bathroom door open and when he saw Hannah immerge, he felt himself go pale at the sight of her.   
  
She wore a teal satin cocktail dress with a lace top and boat neckline. It was slimming as it extended to just above her knees, exposing her tall slender legs. She wore a pair of open-toed heels and a teal teardrop pendant. Matching earrings hung from her ears. And of course, there was the part of her that humans couldn't see- that only another angel would have noticed. Her wings. A different contrast to Castiel's ebony black wings, Hannah's wings were a milky white color with a thick streak of golden yellow at the end.   
  
Castiel felt that she had looked stunning in her dress back in Kansas. It wasn't something he'd knew how to put into words, the feelings he had when he had seen her in the black dress for the first time. But now, she seemed even more radiant, perhaps because Castiel's feelings for her had grown in spades since the start of this trip.   
  
He walked over and confidently took her hand and placed it on his arm, a gesture they'd both become comfortable with by now. "You look beautiful," he told her sincerely. As he stood beside her, her hand tucked into his arm; he caught the scent of fragrant rose and the sweet hint of peach. He looked at her.   
  
"Sam Winchester suggested I wear a scent," Hannah informed him, noticing his quizzical look. "Is it appropriate?"   
  
"Yes, I think so," Castiel remembered Dean had said something similar to him and he quickly turned to dig into his duffel bag and sprayed the scent. "Dean seemed to think it important that I smell like a spruce tree and a pepper plant," he said with a small smile.   
  
He returned to her side. "Ready?" She nodded.   
  
They took a taxi to the restaurant. Neither one of them had the ability to fly, and while they would prefer to walk, Hannah was still getting used to walking in heels, and after stumbling down to the hotel lobby on Castiel's arm, they both opted for a more convenient mode of transportation.   
  
They arrived at the restaurant which faced the pacific ocean. The sun had just begun to set, and Hannah gazed, mesmerized, at the sparkling ocean. After finding their reservation under Sam Winchester, they were taken to a table against the window on the upper level of the restaurant. The breathtaking view of the ocean as the sun cast it's orange light on it was the perfect touch. Castiel watched Hannah as the glow reflected in her eyes.   
  
"Earth is so breathtaking," she said when she finally turned to face him from across the table. "You've visited this world far more often than I, haven't you?"   
  
"Yes," Castiel confirmed. "Never for very long. Most angels are content to stay in heaven their entire existence, but I once watched a small fish crawl out of the ocean. Since then, I have had a fascination."   
  
"I am beginning to see it now," Hannah admitted. "What you see…"   
  
"I am glad," Castiel replied. He'd noticed the change in her as well. From an angel with a strict code of conduct which often made her resistant to what he had been trying to teach her- to show her- about humanity, to someone who had begun to warm up to the world around her.   
  
It had changed him as well. He hadn't seen this as anything more than an opportunity to teach another angel what he knew. Despite her rigid adherence to rules and order, he'd seen something in her at the beginning, an interest, a willingness to learn.   
  
But it was becoming more than just learning about the world around them, it was also about learning about themselves. It had taken Castiel a long time to develop a capacity for emotions, feelings. Perhaps he'd had them from the beginning, he just didn't understand them. After all, an angel had no use for emotion, that was a human thing. But as soon as he'd met Dean and Sam, he knew he'd have to reevaluate that line of thinking. He'd grown closer to them than he'd been to most angels. Through his friendship with them he'd truly learned what it was like to feel things deeply. To have passions, drives, desires.   
  
Or at least he thought he knew. But the time spent with Hannah had awakened a whole new series of emotions that he didn't understand and couldn't quite process. And the longer he was with her, the more intense these feelings became. They seemed quite overpowering at times, seemed to overwhelm him.   
  
"Castiel," Hannah's voice brought him out of his thoughts, and Castiel realized he'd been so lost in thought that he hadn't seen the waitress approach. The woman was now standing over them with a few plates.   
  
"We have your appetizers right here, Mr. Winchester," the woman replied as she set them down in front of them. "Oysters on the half shell, a cheese tasting plate, and a bowl of clam chowder for both of you."   
  
The woman placed the food down and then placed a small vase full of bright white and pink orchids on their table before heading off.   
  
Just as she had done with the rose, Hannah immediately reached for the orchids, plucking them out of the vase and inhaling their scent.   
  
"You are beginning to develop an interest in plants," Castiel pointed out. "Grass, flowers. What do you find so fascinating about them?"   
  
"Plants are alive," Hannah explained. "I can see them absorb the light around them. How they take in carbon dioxide and water. They do this over and over, and they are content to do so. They don't move; they rely on organisms like bees to replenish them. They are simple beings. Yet humans and animals eat them."   
  
"It's part of a life cycle on earth," Castiel explained. "Living beings must rely on one another for sustenance, and that requires a certain level of violence. Animals must either eat plants or other animals to live, and humans must do the same. No matter how far advanced they become, humans cannot escape the confines of their biology. They must breathe oxygen, they must drink water, and they must consume nutrients."   
  
"It is good that angels don't have these needs," Hannah replied as she inspected the food in front of her, hesitantly.   
  
"Perhaps," Castiel replied. "But humans have developed entire cultures and rituals around these basic needs. Food, for instance, it's not the same from one part of the world to the other. Here," He plucked up an olive from the cheese plate and reached across the table to her. "Try it."   
  
She did so, taking the olive from him and eating, chewing thoughtfully as she contemplated the tastes she was experiencing. She'd done the same thing at the other restaurant. Eating each bite slowly, thoughtfully. Angels could experience the senses from a molecular level, and although Castiel had become used to this by now, Hannah was experiencing much of it for the first time. Each bite brought her an instant response. Castiel recalled that she didn't particularly like the texture of the polenta, but all the other flavors she enjoyed.   
  
And as they moved through this dinner, Castiel found it was satisfying just to watch Hannah eat. She didn't enjoy oysters, claiming that their molecules were off-putting. But she liked the soup and the cheese, and when their meals arrived, she and Castiel shared their entrees. The whole roasted Maine lobster had provided a bit of a challenge for both of them, as they couldn't see how humans found the hard shell appetizing. It wasn't until Castiel had seen a couple at the table nearby eating the same dish that he realized what the crab crackers were for. The meat inside was sweet and gave them both pleasure.   
  
When the meal was finished, it was dark. Castiel held Hannah's hand as they came out of the restaurant. It was a rare clear night in San Francisco, and the stars were out in full force all around them.   
  
"Can we go closer?" Hannah asked as they both gazed at the ocean. Castiel nodded, and the two walked into the sand. Hannah opted for taking her shoes off as they walked up to the water. The waves rushed to meet them.   
  
Hannah let out a soft gasp as the waves engulfed her feet. The water seemed to sparkle under the light of a full moon. Castiel gazed around, noting that they were the only ones on the beach. The water was ice cold, and the air had a chill to it that he imagined was probably off-putting to humans. He reached over and took her hand tightly in his as they walked along the dark sand.   
  
After a time, they'd left the restaurant far behind and come to a secluded area where the Pacific highway ran in between the beach and the treeline of golden gate park. Except for an occasional car coming down the high way, there wasn't a single sign of human life.   
  
"Everything is still except the sea and the wind," Hannah commented as the breeze rippled through her dress and her hair. She turned to him now, wonder in her eyes as they walked up to the dry sand. "It is as if the world sleeps as well."   
  
"Night is my favorite time on Earth," Castiel replied. "Let me show you." He led her to a smooth part of sand, and he lay down flat. She looked at him quizzically for a moment before doing the same, laying down in the sand. He waited for her to get comfortable. "Look up," he insisted.   
  
They both gazed up at the billions of tiny stars speckling the night sky. They both looked on in silence for a time; both lost in their own thoughts, the stars above, the sounds of the waves around them. At this moment, Castiel felt as if there were no humans on earth at all. Just him and Hannah, the ocean and the stars.   
  
"So many stars," Hannah murmured softly from beside him.   
  
"I do this often," Castiel told her. "When I'm staying at the bunker. Late at night when Sam and Dean are asleep, I walk out onto the prairie and lay under the stars."   
  
"You were always alone when you did it?" Hannah asked, turning her head to look at him.   
  
"There were the frogs and the crickets," Castiel replied. He smirked a little and looked at her. "And the grass."   
  
As they gazed up at the stars, a shooting star streaked across the sky. Another and another, a meteor shower rained down on them. But Hannah didn't have the reaction he had intended. She gasped in fear and quickly jumped to her feet.   
  
"Oh no!" she exclaimed, her voice high with anxiety and Castiel got up to meet her. "An angel fall."   
  
She gazed around the beach frantically, as if waiting for the angels to drop. Castiel quickly gripped her shoulder, "no," he said gently. "It's okay, Hannah."   
  
She turned to him, her big blue eyes full of fear. "Are you sure?" she asked, fearfully. "What if Metatron…"   
  
"It's not Metatron," Castiel insisted, stepping closer to her and gazing down into her face. "It's just meteors. It happens often."   
  
"Are you sure?" she looked up and met his eyes. Their eyes locked and for a long time, they both just gazed, lost in one another's eyes. Castiel felt an almost overwhelming desire to press his lips to hers, and so he did. Leaning in to kiss her gently on the lips, he closed his eyes and gave himself over completely to the moment.   
  
The world seemed to melt away as they stayed locked to one another. Hannah broke the kiss and looked at him. The moon reflected in her eyes. "What was that?" she asked, her voice soft, her earlier fear quickly forgotten.  
  
"Something that humans do when they want to be closer to one another," Castiel explained, his own voice soft. For a moment, he worried that he’d startled her by the spontaneousness of the simple act. But she responded by moving in again, melting into his arms, her eyes sparkling with a sudden passion that he felt reflected in himself. Tenderly, he brushed a strand of hair from her eyes and leaned in again, deepening the kiss with unspoken desire and need.  
  
At that moment, as they kissed on the beach, illuminated by the moon and serenaded by the waves, Castiel was overcome with emotions he’d never before experienced. And he let them in. As he held her in his arms, he felt the need to cling to this moment, to stay in this single moment in time. Nothing else mattered right now. Not heaven, not earth, not anything, except her.  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

The night melted away too soon, and as the sun came up the next morning, two angels roamed quietly through the stillness and the tranquility of Golden Gate Park. The morning’s dew had settled around the vegetation as they meandered through the narrow paths surrounded by the dense copses of trees and plants.

Hannah was still in a daze, and neither of them spoke a word to one another, both lost in their thoughts. Their perfect moment had been interrupted by a beach patrol officer who mistook them for homeless vagabonds and chased them off the beach. But the interruption did little to quell the turbulent surge of emotions that Hannah felt coursing through her. Was this truly what it was like to feel things? She didn’t know how to put into words what she had felt when she and Castiel had pressed lips; she only knew that she hadn’t wanted it to stop.

And she hadn’t broken the physical contact. She and Castiel walked hand in hand as they moved through the park.

They spent the entire day exploring every inch of the park. Towering trees, rolling grassy gnolls, and humans going about their lives. They encountered people jogging, laying by the various ponds and lakes, walking their dogs. A few times, they spied couples like them, walking hand in hand, laying beside each other on picnic blankets, or just gazing into one another’s eyes. Some were even pressing lips just as she and Castiel had.

Hannah’s favorite parts of the park were the trees and the flowers. She loved the rose gardens, the botanical gardens, and the Japanese Tea garden. She’d begun to discover a love of natural world which had begun back at the bunker, with the fields of grass, and had culminated in a serious interest. While Castiel preferred the animal life, she was captivated by the feel of the tree bark on her fingers, the scent of floral aromas, the visceral beauty of their colors.

They explored three museums in the park. The first was Castiel’s favorite. A science museum dedicated to the natural world. They roamed an indoor rainforest, viewed the sea life in a massive aquarium, watched a planetarium show and explored the displays designed to show humans the world around them. Hannah and Castiel were both enthralled by it all.

At one instance, when Castiel was huddled alongside a group of school children, wondrously gazing at the presentation being given by one of the scientists on the world on insects and arachnids, looking every bit as awed as the children where Hannah managed to slip away. She made her way to the museum store and glanced around at the merchandise.

“Can I help you find anything?” Hannah glanced to see a young woman approaching her, a tag on her shirt identifying her as an employee of the shop.

“Where are the bees?” Hannah asked as she scouted for the perfect item. Somehow it felt right to do this. Angels had no need for material things, and Hannah could see that the many stuffed animals on display on the shelves were simple fabrics made to look like shapes, but nonetheless, she felt the need to find the right thing before Castiel noticed she was gone.

“Well we have these,” the woman led her over to a shelf with a few stuffed bees plushies. No, these weren’t right, she thought. They had large artificial eyes that didn’t quite sit right with her. “Does your child like bees?” the woman asked. Hannah frowned and shook her head.

“No it is not for a child,” she corrected. “It’s for…” she paused. What was Castiel now? He’d started out her leader, as she had been his second-in-command against Metatron. Then, he had become her teacher of all that was humanity, then he was her friend and now? After the experience they had, brief though it was, she felt his role in her life had changed once again. “It’s for a man,” she said when the woman’s questioning gaze prompted her to say something.

“Oh, I see,” the woman said knowingly. “Here, I have something you might like.” Hannah followed her to a display case full of gemstones and crystals. The woman opened the case and retrieved a small pendant and placed it in the palm of Hannah’s hand. It was a small piece of amber, and as Hannah peered at it more closely, she could see the tiny body of a wasp.

“It’s amber with a wasp fossil inside,” the woman explained. “It’s about 50 million years old. At one point, the wasp landed in the tree sap and got stuck inside, and it was preserved in this state.”

Hannah gazed at the insect inside the hardened amber and found herself fascinated. She and Castiel were even older than this rock, but while she had never had a reason to come to Earth, she knew he’d spent a lot of time on this world back then. Perhaps he’d even witnessed something like this take place. This was perfect. She couldn’t wait for him to see it.

She bought the card using one of the Winchester’s fake credit cards, shoved it into her pocket, and quickly hurried back to where she’d left Castiel. She found him sitting on a bench outside the aquarium. As she neared, she swallowed her sudden alarm when he looked at her, and she saw the lethargic look in his eyes, something he immediately tried to hide when he saw her. It was a hardened reminder of his terminal condition, something she’d almost forgotten.

“Where did you go?” he questioned when he rose to his feet as she returned to him. He swayed very slightly but confidently took her hand in his.

“I had to take care of something,” she responded as they walked out of the museum. He glanced at her curiously, suspiciously, but said nothing.

The two of them visited two more museums. An art museum was next on their journey, and both were fascinated with the exploration of human expressions through art. Hannah began to feel a sense of appreciation for these humans. Before, she found this would alien, foreign, and frightening. But as she had spent the last few days exploring her own senses, she began to see and appreciate the enthusiasm with which humans utilized their senses to explore the world around them.

The last museum was Hannah’s favorite. A conservatory of flowers. A place dedicated to the most beautiful plants and flowers.

When the day was finally over, they returned to their hotel, and Castiel requested to the receptionist to be moved to a room with a balcony. There, in the light of the evening sun, they sat, perched high in the air, overlooking San Francisco Bay, they enjoyed their last meal, brought to them in the privacy of their own room, Castiel looked to Hannah.

“We will return to the bunker tomorrow,” he said. She gazed at him, a feeling of sadness overcoming her. She’d had such an amazing time she’d almost forgotten that they would have to return to being angels eventually.

“I understand,” she said sadly. She remembered her gift then and retrieved it from her pocket, handing it to him. “I think you would like this,” she said as he took the plastic bag from her hand. She watched him open it, and upon discovering the pendant inside, he smiled.

“A bee,” he said, looking at her from across the table. “Is that what you were doing while we were separated?” She nodded.

“It’s quite ancient. From a time before humans.” She was quite happy with his reaction.

“Thank you, Hannah,” he said honestly. He reached across the table for her hand, and she eagerly accepted it as they both rose from their seats and relocated to the large double chaise lounge chair next to their table. He lay down on the chaise and scooted over, looking at her. “Would you watch the sunset with me one last time?”

Hannah frowned. There was more meaning behind that sentence, and she wasn’t sure he was aware of the weight of what he had just said. Yes, their trip was coming to an end, but so was his life. Adina’s grace wasn’t going to last forever, and she’d already seen the first signs in him. But she composed herself and joined him on the chaise, lowering herself into his arms, laying her head on his shoulders as she turned to watch the brilliant display of the sun as it began its slow descent.

They stayed quiet for a time. Hannah savored the feeling of being in his arms. Yet as she welcomed the tenderness, there was a deep sadness that had begun to gnaw at her as she contemplated the situation she’d found herself in.

“What have you learned about humans on this trip?” Castiel asked as he held her close, his breath gentle rustling her hair as he combed his fingers through her hair.

“I’ve learned to feel the things they have,” she admitted. The art she’d seen had been created to express certain emotions. “But I am puzzled. I saw many expressions of art. It all is created to invoke emotion. Things like hope, happiness… love…” she emphasized love in particular, as she held onto Castiel’s hand. “But some piece of art seemed intended to provoke negative emotions. Why would humans wish to dwell on their own sufferings?”

“Because humans are not capable of escaping such things,” Castiel responded. “They are mortal, and even as they experience things like hope, love, happiness, and passion, they also experience grief, pain, and sorrow. They are driven to explore and express this aspect as well.”

She thought about that for a moment. Humans were mortal. But angels were not. Angels were supposed to live forever. They had existed forever. Yet Castiel was not going to live forever. It made her angry to dwell on it. “I am beginning to understand this side of humans as well,” she said as she raised herself up slightly on her elbows to look at him. “Because I am beginning to share it.”

“What do you mean?” he asked her, his blue eyes searching hers.

“Grief. Sorrow. The pain of losing someone…”

Realization dawned in his eyes. “Hannah,” he murmured softly. “I wanted to teach you things on this trip. I wanted to show you what I saw in humans. What I learned from my time here.”

“And you have,” she responded, a lump forming in her throat as she felt her emotions rising. “I just don’t understand why you bothered. Did you know this was going to happen? That we would…” Why did he show her all of this if he was just going to leave her in the end?

“No, I didn’t,” Castiel said with a sigh, eyes flickering away for a moment, sadness in his own eyes. “Dean suggested this might happen. But I suppose I didn’t believe him.”

Tears stung her eyes then, and she tried to suppress them. She blinked, willing herself to control the turbulent passions she was feeling. She squeezed her eyes shut, one lone tear managing to escape, trickling down her cheek. He brushed it away with his finger… and what happened next was a blur of visceral passions. She responded to his touch by kissing him passionately, lowering herself into his arms. He eagerly accepted her kiss, wrapping his arms around her.

The kisses deepened, and the sweet, sensual caresses encouraged them as they both gave into their desires. Somehow, Hannah wasn’t conscious of how or when, they ended up on the bed in their hotel room, passionately caressing, kissing, and touching. Clothes came off, and soon there was nothing between them but raw skin- and raw emotion. Hannah had lost all sense of the world around her, just his touch, and it was electrifying. She needed it, and she touched him with equal fervor.

The passion and the pleasure went on deep into the night. When it was finally over, Hannah lay against Castiel once more, under the blankets. She lay on his bare chest, her bare skin against his.

“Hannah,” his voice brought her out of her daze, and she craned her head up to peer into his eyes as he combed his fingers through her hair. He cupped her cheek with his other hand.

“You’ve done this before?” she asked breathlessly. He nodded.

“Yes well… then she stabbed me,” he pointed out. “I’d hope you don’t have the same plans.” He smiled a little, indicating to her that he was joking. She returned his smile. He turned serious, his hand still against her cheek. “I’m sorry, Hannah… I should have been more careful about emotions. I never sought out to hurt you or to cause you pain.”

“Your death will cause me pain,” she replied. “I don’t want to experience that.”

“I didn’t want to live,” he admitted. “I didn’t want to face my situation because I didn’t see the need to. I’ve caused a lot of suffering, Hannah and I thought my death could make up for it. But… now... “

She waited as he paused, wincing as he seemed to try to find the words. But he looked at her with more determination. “I want to live now,” he said. “If anything, for you, and you alone. If only so that I wouldn’t have to be separated from you.”

“Then perhaps Metatron-” she started, eagerly, hopefully. But he put a finger to her lips and shook his head.

“No,” he insisted. “We aren’t going to Metatron, and we aren’t going to take another angel’s life. We’ll find another way, somehow. And in the end, we may not succeed, but I promise I’ll try my best, if only for you. I love you, Hannah.”

Hannah could say nothing to that. She felt a surge of hope kissed him again. She promised herself, internally, that somehow, some way, she would not lose Castiel. She was more determined now, and she felt the change in him. His will to live renewed. Somehow, she hoped, that would be enough to save them both.

 

The End!


End file.
